The ceaseless story of violence against women The speaking scars

Author :- Shilpee Ghosh

Introduction:

It is hard to see clearly through the haze of fear that this pandemic has created and has forced every individual of the entire world/country to take shelter at their home as at this point home can only be the safest place to get protected from the virus but what if a virus is in home then which is the safest place for those victims who are testing positive daily with this virus? Everyday we are hearing that our “MOTHER EARTH” is healing except the mother and girls who are experiencing maltreatment daily in their home.

God have made each and every creature equal and have never made any distinction that women will be only facing violence and men will be controlling their life by exercising powers over them. We all are humans irrespective of our gender, caste, religion, creed or sex. If we are talking about human rights it means not only to men but also for women whose rights have been infringed. Why is it always the women who has to face each and everything in their life and if she reports her problem to anyone she is either getting shame or blame. Domestic Violence is a crime under section 498A of Indian Penal Code, 1860 and if any person found practising this will be held liable but what if the cases are not reported against this virus. Practising Domestic Violence is a crime but tolerating this violence is a much bigger crime. Many women don’t report the cases of violence thinking about its later consequence i.e. a long legal proceeding, societal shame, relatives blaming the women for sending her husband to jail etc. Women are always said to adjust themselves with the environment of violence – the advice given by their mothers may be because they don’t want their daughters marriage to get broken and following their advice they don’t report the violence at the first stage rather try to tolerate it for protecting the marriage. What’s the use of such marriage where women are having no respect and are merely being used as a mere manufacturing machine by the men. The problem is not lying with women it is lying with the culture they are groomed with and the myths they are surrounded with. This is what our Indian culture made our women think that opposing their husband will be considered as a sin and thus evolved the ides that “men can beat you a little bit” or “the more he harms the more he loves”.  Have you ever seen a man beating his boss or friends? Probably no because men always thrash those whom they know can’t revert/fight back and this has what provided powers in the hands of men.

Women most of the time don’t fight back and this has what made the man think that they have control over them.

Home: Hell or Heaven

At the first instant when we hear the word “HOME” what clicks first our mind?

Home means a place where we feel safe or a place where we feel a sense of belongingness. When we say “Home Sweet Home” we don’t really care how luxurious or how poor our home is what really matters to us is “COMFORT”, where we can do anything without any restrictions. But what if the saying “I FEEL COMFORTABLE” turns into “I FEEL UNCOMFATBLE” in my own house.

Happens with many of us, the time when we start realizing that our home got turned into a devil’s resident. The COVID-19 pandemic made no path open for those women and girls who are trapped with their abusers at home, which is the most risky place spotted during this pandemic. Day by day as the lockdown is increasing, the violence is also increasing at a pace. According to the National Commission for Women, nearly 584 cases got registered between March and April. These are just the numbers. There are many cases which didn’t even find its place in the records. Domestic Violence at home isn’t just about beating an individual- physical abuse is just its one form, which additionally incorporates is sexual maltreatment. Violence neither sees any place, nor any time. What it sees is a body where harm, aggression, and anger can be carved. A 14 years old girl being raped by her own father (cab driver) in her own house during the lockdown when the world was fighting against corona virus. Whenever we hear a girl getting rapped outside her home we always make the victim responsible by saying she should not go outside alone during night, should not wear small clothes etc. But what when her own father is raping her? Is this also the mistake of that girl? It’s not always “WE” are responsible; it’s the society and the mind-set of the people who is responsible.

A person who got unemployed during this lockdown vested his anger and dissatisfaction on his own daughter. What can really be crueller than this?

If a devil is present inside the home then there’s no need for the victim to go out and invited the violence for her.

Why is it so difficult for her to leave?

A question we all are familiar with- “Why is it so difficult for her to leave”?

Have you ever place yourself in her position? Thinking about such question and throwing this to a victim is really easy but when you face this it is really difficult. If every women think about violence before her marriage then probably no one will get married and the problem of violence will not exists. The question is not this. What really matters for women is her family, her love and the person she cares for. Not every woman carries the same mind-set of separation. Making her free from domestic violence doesn’t not make her free from all obstructions that she might face after separation. At the beginning, relationship starts with love and care but later it becomes sour and violence overtakes the love and care. Thinking about this love, women often do not end her relationship and carries a hope for her partner to go back being that person. Where love is one reason for staying, financial incapacity is the other side. Most women don’t have any earning source which makes them completely dependent on her husband and without the capacity to support herself she is forced to stay with her abuser. But many a times a woman who is financially capable to support her is also seen facing this violence – Why? Most of the time husbands don’t support her woman to be financially successful and therefore torture her for leaving her job and looking after her house and children. Without the capacity to support themselves, woman is compelled to stay with their abusers.

Conclusion:

The increasing rate of violence among women is highly due to the lack of education as women are not aware about their rights. Most of the women treat violence as something normal which happens ordinarily in every house and are a part of their life and therefore don’t always defend it. If we want to eliminate this virus (domestic violence) completely we need to educate our mother and girls about theirs rights and duties.  We always have blamed woman for violence but what have we done for them to elevate. We have limited their movement by imposing hard rules in their life. The only way by which we can support our ladies is by letting them free for making any kind of decision and educating them about the rights and the myths they are surrounded with. If women start raising their voice against this injustice then no men can dare inflict any harm upon them.

All we need to do is that we need to make women know that we all are with them and together we will fight this injustice.